I just LOVE this picture of a strawberry finch (I think) way out on the edge on a cloudy California day. Something about it just gets me...Once again it has been some time since my last post and so I'll stick to trip tradition now and let pictures do most of the talking.
The first three photos below are from the grand finale of my cross country journey, way back in Oct/Nov. Pop and I had an incredible time exploring the top of the country through Illinois, the Upper Penninsula of Michigan, Wisconsin, Iowa and Nebraska. Love ya Pop!
Colorado at Christmas time is pretty and magical. I was mesmerized by this snow covered Christmas tree in the front yard where I am living with the Morrison's in Evergreen, CO.
But after nine months away, I was ready for HOME in the form of Southern California. 
It felt grounding and good to see magestic El Capitan Mountain again, seen here from my Mom's backyard in Lakeside, California.
It felt grounding and good to see magestic El Capitan Mountain again, seen here from my Mom's backyard in Lakeside, California.
I was SO looking forward to seeing everyone at home. But I'll be honest and admit that my horse and friend of almost 29 years, Freedom, was the one I missed the most. Its not like we can talk on the phone after all! Unfortunately it rained so much when I was there that the ground was too soggy to ride. But he got extra carrots and pets and knows I love him.
These are my cousin's Eric and Laura (an my Mom, sis and I) at my Mom's annual Christmas brunch. 
SO great to see you two!I also got to hug Nicole, the young lady I've known and loved since she was five. So proud of you girl!
Since I was expecting typical Southern California weather, I left almost all of my newly aquired snow appropriate attire in Colorado. So of course there just so happened to be a very uncharachteristic (but very welcome) three feet of snow in San Diego's local mountains! Which was about 2' 10" more than in Evergreen!
Since I was expecting typical Southern California weather, I left almost all of my newly aquired snow appropriate attire in Colorado. So of course there just so happened to be a very uncharachteristic (but very welcome) three feet of snow in San Diego's local mountains! Which was about 2' 10" more than in Evergreen!
Kris and Erick gifted the entire family with two nights in a cabin in the Laguna's and we had an absolute blast!
Mom, Skyler and sis Kris (Jacky in the background).
Pop and Linda.
My sweet, happy and beautiful nephews -
My sweet, happy and beautiful nephews -
Jackson (6) and Skyler (9).
Uhh... yes, that's me (the legs probably gave it away!) Whoo Hoo!
My bro-in-law Erick (aka the E-Man!)
I relished seeing all my Goddess Babe friends in Orange County again. Love and miss you Ladies SO MUCH! 
And I also got to see our old land-lord and dear dear friend Craig (Craigerzzz!) and meet his lovely new sweetheart, Lindy. You two look great together!
December 16th was my two-year wedding anniversary. I spent the previous evening and that morning with North's son Zach (wish I had a picture!), the day with my long time friend Leslie, and the evening with Miss Leigh (also no picture.) It was so strange to be back in the place where we lived together and were married, on that day. It was sad and surreal and yet good. I was glad to be there and in the presence of special people he and I love so much. And when walking on the beach with Leslie I finally opened up enough to feel him. When I asked for some sort of sign, which he told me to expect, I looked out on the water to see a lone sailboat with three masts. There is only one in the area I know of, the Curlew - the very one we spent so many Sunday's on with his friend Bob (the captain); and the very same one we took out to sea to release his ashes. There she was - unmistakable in the overcast distance. And there he was, with us on the beach and filling up m
y heart with knowing. It felt so pure and bittersweet.
y heart with knowing. It felt so pure and bittersweet. At the end of the day I went solo to San Clemente Pier to watch the sun go down. This was where he proposed and where the beach-comber motel is where we took our wedding photos and spent our wedding night. 
I remember how cold it was that day too and how, in the tiny room at the end of that day two years before, he and I, as husband and wife, danced like crazy, he in his suit and I in my dress, with the i-pod in our ears. We laughed and toasted to eachother and our sacred love. How great that was. I love & miss you so my sweetheart. I always will.
Being at home for Christmas this year, surrounded by family and friends, was just what my heart and 
soul needed.
soul needed. (Pop and April Ann on my last night.)
And as beautiful and green and forested as my new home in Evergreen, Colorado is, (even if it is currenly only 3 degrees outside!), I deeply cherish and appreciate the rugged, rocky, chapparal beauty of where I grew up. It will always be home, where my roots run deep. In my long journey all the way across this great country, in all that time alone in this past year and half since my beloved passed away, I have come to realize that one's heart can live and thrive and be at home in many places. I have found a settling in to myself, a deeper acceptance of what is, and a solid knowing that my beloved has always and will forever be with me, just as he promised he would. And I realize something else... through all this time and space and change, I have simply been taking the long way home - the long road home to myself. 
I have learned and grown and changed so much. And yet, I am the same. Like him, like all of us, love and life is eternal, the road goes on.
So I am peaceful. I am grateful. And I am happy. How good it is to feel a deep sense of home once again in my heart.
Namaste' and blessings to us all,
Stef
P.S. Barnie says Hi/Woof (and he loves his cammie coat mom!)
